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From the
Body (June 2001)
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NGAARD
The
first is to dry your eyes with::::children
The second is to rediscover hope
The third to find lost pieces to unnerve
The sedentary anxiousness::::pure sex.
Underneath
all of this of course is pain
It's survival revival recompense
Creates the confusion of abstraction
That intolerance::::but she still loves me
The
first is to enjoy that life that shame
That abduction::::the second fades like
regret
And the third just an eruption of thought
Like a dream, unready, absorbed in haste.
The
first a collage::::with too much white space
Others, long gone, still others forgotten.
[1/6-01]
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Waiting
for a bus one day...
Waiting
for a bus one day I hppened to pull a newspaper
out of a trash can. And though it was 3 days old,
I found an advertisement for a job which sounded
wonderful. Leader of a culture center for
refugees in Denmark. I carried it around with me
for two days::::trying to imagine myself in the
job. Then wrote a letter and tuned my CV so that
it seemed perfect just for this job. My wife
corrected the letter, and gave me advice:::which
I took. We invited my mother-in-law over, who
gave advice, which I followed. Redid the whole
and sent it off.
Tomorrow
I've got an interview for the job. It's one thing
to worry over whether they'll like you, whether
they feel your qualifications are good enough,
whether your nervousness will undermine the
possibility. On top of all this my greatest worry
is the language. Though I've just gotten very
good grades from Danish school::::I don't speak
that clearly, and often struggle to find words.
To
get this job will give my family a future::::dig
us out of poverty::::give us hope and open up all
of the possibilities we see from being three
years on welfare as impossibilities.
We
deserve this. I am good. I am the right man for
the job.
[20/6-01]
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I
did the entire interview...
I
did the entire interview in Danish. There were
eight people there interviewing me::::only one
was very sour::::the rest smiling and positive.
Toward the end one suggested that we could switch
to English, but I kept on with my Danish.
One
sticking point was the question put forth that
there is a large difference between teaching
Danish and overseeing 'subjects':::: i.e. art,
computer, woodshop. I said I saw no
difference::::and that the one can overflow into
the other. Then one of the teachers interjected
and said that there is a large difference::::that
teaching is so structures, and the other is so
open. But my point was that we aim toward the
same goal. I'm not so sure it went over.
Other
than that::::the question on my weaknesses. And I
admitted my weakness for the job would be
managing the budget.
I
kept it real simple::::I sounded like Chauncy
Gardner in "Being There." I just don't
know if it was enough.
[21-06-01]
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The
Disparia of Sunshine
The disparia of sunshine
when there has been none::::
and its contrivance to avail
from me that it truly is active
and important to my
well being being well
and all. I would go
into a dark bookstore and seek
the book which answers
the questions of my life.
But there isn't time to sift
through the changing masses.
And who am I anyway
to think it might make a difference.
[21/6-01]
©2001wfairbrother
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