Inner Circle [dramaticule]
"Well, campaign season is coming, and I'd like to discuss a slogan."
"Can't beat Bush!"
"No, wait-"
"-Can't beat around with Bush!"
"Sam! Shut-up!"
"Yes, Mr. President."
"Now. I think it's important that it courts the liberals a little. I'm going to win - but that's not good enough - gotta be a landslide - just to wipe-out that last election - eh?"
"Burning Bush!"
"Sam! Clap it shut!"
"Yes, Mr. President."
"Now. I want something that'll go down in history."
"Like, 'All the way with L.B.J.'?"
"'A kinder, gentler nation'?"
"That's it, Jimmy! My daddy! But the one he's remembered for is: 'Read my lips, no new taxes.'"
"Read my lips, no new terrorists!"
"That's closer, Sam. I wanna make it clear to people that I'm not no war-monger - so I've composed the punch-line myself - 'No new wars.'"
"Brilliant."
"Thanks, Donald."
"Read my lips, no new wars!"
"Ain't that simple, Sam. Something new."
"Read my eyes, no new wars!"
"Humm. Jimmy?"
"Well, you have beautiful eyes, sir, but the media sometimes characterizes your eyes as 'shifty' or 'beady.'"
"Dang."
"Read my thoughts, no new wars!"
"Naw. I don't get it."
"Read my mouth, no new wars! - No, wait, Read my pores, no new wars!"
"Sam, shut the fuck up!"
"Yes, Mr. President."
"Read my nose, no new wars."
"What?"
"Well, like, follow your nose - read my nose. And you've got a beautiful nose, sir."
"Jimmy?"
"Might alienate the Jews, sir."
"You're right, damn-it."
"Read my eyebrows, no new wars!"
"What? Uhhh..."
"It's pretty good, sir."
"Jimmy?"
"It's, uh, you've got beautiful eyebrows, sir."
"Thanks. Yes. Well, you've done it again, Sam. 'Read my eyebrows, no new wars' - genius! That's it! I'll have to work on their moving, and that quavering when I pronounce it - but that's the one!"
©wfairbrother 2003