John's Birthday JOHN MARY BILL (JOHN'S studio apartment in a high-rise. The actors are to act-out the action of their lines as they are being said)
JOHN: John waltzes merrily over to the counter, picks up a can of wild woods air freshener and sprays it throughout the room. MARY: (from off-stage) Mary knocks on the door. JOHN: John knows it is Mary. He goes to the door and opens it. MARY: Mary enters and puts her arms around John. She has a birthday gift in her left hand which rubs into John's backbone during the hug. JOHN: John feels pain. MARY: Mary sets the present down on a nearby coffee table. She turns back to John and smiles at him coyly. JOHN: John smiles with just a hint of lust. MARY: Mary detects the lust, she turns away from John. She reaches down to the gift, hesitates, but then brings the gift up and hands it to John. JOHN: John is pleased, almost excited, about the gift. But when it is in his hands he guesses it is a bottle of booze, which he thinks is in poor taste, because he and Mary are practically in love. He wanted a cowboy hat. But he keeps an even smile and opens the gift. MARY: Mary anticipates his reaction. JOHN: John looks at the gift with confusion. MARY: Mary giggles. JOHN: He reaches to Mary, pulls her slightly toward her and kisses her appreciatively on the mouth. He shakes his head and smiles. He turns away from Mary to place the fire extinguisher on the portable bar. MARY: Mary thinks John has taken the gift too seriously. JOHN: John, facing away from Mary, makes a face at the gift. He wanted a cowboy hat, and thought for sure that was what she would give him. BILL: (from off-stage) Bill knocks on the door. JOHN: John goes to the door, opens it while hiding behind it. BILL: Bill saunters in. JOHN: John jumps from behind the door. BILL: Bill is taken aback, and then laughs. JOHN: John laughs. MARY: Mary hugs Bill impotently. He is obviously drunk so she doesn't kiss him. BILL: Bill immediately rushes into the bathroom. JOHN: John is glad his friend has come to his birthday party. MARY: Mary doesn't like Bill, but is nice to him because he's John's best friend. JOHN: John pours Mary a drink. And then he pours himself one. MARY: Mary plops down on the hide-a-bed sofa. JOHN: John moves seductively to Mary, hands her a drink, and offers his glass in a toast. MARY: Mary touches her glass to his, beaming. She drinks. J0HN: John drinks He then stares into Mary's eyes. He's thinking about making love to her later in the evening. MARY: Mary is made uncomfortable by the stare and shifts. JOHN: John lowers his eyes to her breasts. He imagines kissing them. BILL: (from the bathroom) Bill flushes the toilet. JOHN: John looks over in the direction of the bathroom. MARY: Mary glances around the room. She's glad that John's not staring at her breasts anymore. BILL: Bill walks across the room looking flushed. MARY: Mary gives him an insincere smile as he crosses. JOHN: John pats Bill on the back as he passes. BILL: Bill grabs a handful of jalepeno peppers from an ornate condiment cup. JOHN: John laughs, as if to warn Bill that the peppers are extra hot. BILL: Bill stuffs the peppers into his mouth, stems and all. MARY: Mary laughs. BILL: Bill's face turns red. His hands clasp his throat. JOHN: John laughs heartily. MARY: Mary laughs so forcefully tears start to roll out of her eyes. BILL: Bill, without being able to see clearly because his eyes are watery, picks up the fire extinguisher from the bar; he thinks that it is a bottle of seltzer water, and shoots the foam deep into his mouth. JOHN: John realizes the mistake Bill has made and tries to restrain him, but it is too late. MARY: Mary is concerned. BILL: Bill gags, gasps, and then falls to the oriental rug. JOHN: John stares down at Bill with horror. MARY: Mary stands, her eyes and mouth wide open. BILL: Bill's body jerks spasmodically. He knocks over an expensive floor lamp. MARY: Mary drops her drink. She covers her mouth with her hands. JOHN: John bends down over Bill's jerking body. BILL: Bill gasps his last gasp. He is perfectly still, dead. JOHN: John feels excitedly for a pulse. He finds there is none. MARY: Mary turns away and starts to cry. JOHN: John rises slowly. He looks over at Mary's back, he goes to her and puts his arms around her. |